We the sheeple...

I went to the local retailer (who shall remain nameless, but its name rhymes with "Rite Aid") yesterday during my lunch hour. One of the things I needed was a box of matches. After searching the store, I finally located them behind the counter with the tobacco products. A little inconvenient, but OK, it's their merchandising decision. I finished my shopping and returned to that counter to ask for the matches and to pay up.

As he was ringing up the sale, the clerk said, "I'll just need to see your ID for the matches." I started to pull my DL out of my wallet, but caught myself and stopped.

"Forget it", I said in my firmest, irritated voice. I am not a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure there are no restrictions on selling these things in Oregon. I have bought them from other stores many times without incident.

The clerk, clearly embarassed at this ridiculous requirement, said, "It's OK-- just tell me your birthday."

"1960", I tersely replied.

"I need the month and date to put in the register"

"January first."

He dutifully typed it in and we concluded our transaction. (Our cash transaction, I might add. Due to the relative anonymity of the cash sale, I could have-- and did-- simply pick a random date. So what's the point of asking?)

What the fuck is wrong with this country? OK, I can understand that a company doesn't want to get sued if it turns out that the matches a twelve year-old used to burn down his house were bought at their store. But for fuck's sake, I'm a middle aged man! My hair is rapidly becoming more salt than pepper. Not to mention the tranaction was undoubtedly captured by any number of video cameras. Even a lawyer could ascertain the benign intentions I signalled by the purchase of light bulbs, a tin of Altoids and a Cadbury cream egg.

To the dimwitted managers of this nameless retail behemoth: Nothing in this post will cause you any sleepless nights. The total sale was about five bucks. But I find myself shopping at your stores less and less because of stupid harassment policies like this. And I will be telling everyone I know about it. Perhaps you should reconsider the words "Customer Service."